Sturridge, Banayoun, Babel and Liverpool's 13 best 'Barclaysmen'

Social media has been alive over the past week with a resurgence of the ‘Barclaysmen’ - a vaguely-defined term that we somehow all understand, soundtracked with the most essential British indie landfill music.

It refers to a time now lost: the mid-late 2000s, when Barclays was a crucial aspect of Premier League branding and Pep Guardiola’s rigid system of passing and pressing was yet to be truly implemented.

It was a time of individual skill, unattainable flair, and players willing to try their luck from 35 yards.

Read more: How Slot-ball has FIXED Liverpool's biggest issue

The ‘Barclaysmen’ were not players who truly dominated the league in that time. No, the 'Barclaysmen' were the players who, above all else, entertained the masses and may just have been lost to cult status by now. Think Morten Gamst Pedersen. Think Michu. Think, forgive me Reds, Yakubu.

Liverpool, we are pleased to say, had their fair share of 'Barclaysmen' in this era. So sit back, stream 'Golden Skans' or some Bloc Party in the background, and take a trip down memory lane with the Reds who best fitted this label.

John Arne Riise

There’s no better place to start than with one of the most essential 'Barclaysmen' of all time.

Riise had it all: three names, an iconic haircut, and a belter of a goal catalogue stemming from his traction engine of a left foot. This last part is what truly cements him in the status of 'Barclaysman'.

In an era where xG dictates the types of chances teams are aiming to create, Riise was a man who was never afraid of belting one into the far corner or off the underside of the bar.

And, truly, why shouldn’t he?

He could do it with such alarming regularity that it is what he will always be remembered for. The fact that we’ve only just discovered his celebration in the early days would be to take his shirt over his head - but not off, to avoid a booking - only adds to his inclusion on this list.

Dirk Kuyt

A rare inclusion where a definitive 'Barclaysman' was also one of the best players in the league at the time.

It’s a difficult line to toe, but if anyone could, it’s Dirk. He had the ideal combination: golden curls, a willingness to tackle, and the ability to score right when the Reds needed it most.

Merseyside derbies, multiple Champions League semi-finals, last-minute goals against Man City. He’s the club’s fourth-highest scorer ever in Europe, and he did it all despite no one having any real idea what position he actually played.

Was he a winger? A wide midfielder? The lesser-defined ‘forward’?

Regardless, if you score a hat-trick of tap-ins against Manchester United, you will be remembered forever.

Luis Garcia

It's difficult to imagine someone who grew up at La Masia becoming a 'Barclaysman', but that's the beauty of Luis Garcia.

He fit the aesthetics of the era perfectly, relying on individual skill to drift past players whilst his greased long black locks were held from his eyes by an Alice band.

Add a goal in the Merseyside Derby and a goal that probably shouldn't have counted in the pre-Istanbul Champions League semi-final (hello, Jose Mourinho) and you have all the hallmarks of a cult legend.

Yossi Benayoun

This is a bit of a controversial one. Not because of Benayoun’s 'Barclaysman' status, he’s quintessential, but whether his time at Liverpool is what put him in the category.

The majority of his Premier League games came in red, but there are people who argue his first stint at West Ham - and even his 16 games for a very Barclays QPR team in 2012/13 - are what give him that status.

But Yossi earned his place on this list. A nimble midfielder who always found pockets of space, or better yet, made them with multiple fake shots before finishing into the far corner, is always going to earn cult status.

He was also the first player to score Premier League, Champions League and FA Cup hat-tricks too. 

Ryan Babel

Ryan Babel, man. Now this is a name that separates the 'Barclaysmen' from the 'Barclaysboys'.

Just 12 goals in 91 games over the course of four years may look poor, but it’s what those goals were that cement Babel’s status here.

The winning goal in Liverpool’s first league victory over Manchester United in four years (oh how the tables turn, eh) combined with multiple early-days Twitter infractions (tweeting about being dropped by Rafa Benitez, using #BabelCopter to track his own attempts to transfer to either Spurs or West Ham, and posting an image of referee Howard Webb in a Manchester United top) earns him his place in this pantheon.

Jermaine Pennant

The definition of a baller. Borderline untouchable at certain points of his career. Once played with an ankle tag under his sock. Despite playing for no less than seven Barclays teams in his career, he inexplicably appeared more often for Liverpool than the others.

He was a crucial part of the Reds getting to the 2006/07 Champions League final, before almost instantly being lost to the ether. What a player.

Djibril Cissé

It doesn't feel right that Djibril Cissé only scored 13 goals for Liverpool because his contribution to the game was so much bigger than that. The man broke his tibia and fibula in late October 2004 but was playing in a Champions League quarter-final only six months later.

He was scoring on the last day of the season and in the infamous Istanbul penalty shootout not long after that. It's this spirit and guile that drags someone kicking and screaming into 'Barclaysman' status. Plus the audacity to do it all with a bleach blonde mohawk.

Martin Skrtel

Any man who purposefully shaves his own head for years just to look harder will earn cult status. That should be obvious.

What’s even better is that a man who shaves his own head for years just to look harder

whilst consistently not being very good at football

Maxi Rodriguez spent exactly two-and-a-half seasons at Anfield, cementing his legacy by banging in random hat-tricks. This guy might have had Standard Chartered on his shirt but he had Barclays in his veins. 

As revealed in his farewell letter, he knew JUST what it meant to represent Liverpool. Granted, it was during the 'lost years' with the dog days of Rafa's reign, Hicks and Gillet and deeply average league finishes all obscuring the Argentine's impact.

His place on this list is deserved, even more so for the "Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez, runs down the wing for me" tune set to the Heartbeat theme. Try not to hum it. 

Peter Crouch

Part of the 'Barclaysmen' appeal is their commitment to excellence at one random club for seemingly no reason.

Peter Crouch is the exception to this rule. He’s a 'Barclaysman' adored at Portsmouth, Southampton, Stoke and Spurs.

But it was during his time at Liverpool when he truly became

Crouchy.

Sturridge’s inclusion as a 'Barclaysman' is sure to raise some eyebrows, but it’s a term that will become more attached to him the further away we get from the era.

He was, in every sense of the word, a bagsman.

He was a goalscorer of the highest ilk.

He was a pivotal part of the best Liverpool team to exist between 2005 and 2017.

He had a celebration he will always be remembered for and an incredibly promising career ruined by injuries.

That, readers, is a true 'Barclaysman'.

Craig Bellamy

Bellamy played exactly one season for Liverpool, yet by the time he arrived, his cult status in football had already been established.

Five years at Newcastle - the quickest red card in Champions League history for punching Marco Materazzi (of headbutted-by-Zidane fame), throwing a chair at first-team coach John Carver, fighting manager Graeme Souness, and a goal every three games - followed by being Blackburn’s Player of the Year led to him joining the team he literally supported: Liverpool.

It didn’t take him long to attack John Arne Riise with a golf club in a hotel before a Champions League game against Barcelona and then feign a golf swing after scoring in the same game against Barca.

The man is Barclays through and through.

Andrea Dossena

Two years. 18 games. Two goals - Manchester United at Old Trafford and Real Madrid at Anfield. Publicly admitted the Premier League was above his level. Nothing else needs to be said.