Did you know that a blue whale's tongue weighs as much as an elephant? But you don't care about that do you. You've already skipped ahead to make sure Salah's staying, haven't you? Here's today's Liverpool transfer gossip...
Right, so these Mohamed Salah to Saudi links are still going. Spanish outlet Relevo say Al Ittihad plan to make him the world's highest paid player (ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo), while even David Ornstein is among those to have since since backed up the interest of Fabinho's new club.
Has everyone just forgotten that Salah's agent literally shut down talk of a transfer this month?
The Telegraph say the Reds have not received an official approach for Salah and would not welcome one.
Fabrizio Romano, meanwhile, claims that while Liverpool have zero intention of selling, Salah hasn't shut down Al Ittihad's interest either.
At least Dejan Lovren knows it's all nonsense...
Yes Dejan! 😂
Everybody go ahead and listen to this man 👇 https://t.co/1h1m8YqXd1
In case Salah leaves, Liverpool are planning to bring in Federico Chiesa (Juventus) or Leroy Sane (Bayern Munich) next year, according to Calciomercato. Read more on that here.
Moving on from Salah, Fabrizio Romano says that Ryan Gravenberch is 'open' to a move but the situation is 'not easy'. It never is, Fab.
However, Bayern Munich reporter Christian Falk claims Thomas Tuchel is considering letting the Dutch midfielder leave the German champs.
Andre Trindade has told Globo Esporte he is 'happy' to be the subject of transfer offers, following Liverpool's failed bid. Anfield Watch understands the Reds are unlikely to return for him in January. Read the full story here.
Francois Plateau claims that Liverpool have contacted Feyenoord over moves for both Mats Wieffer (midfielder) and David Hancko (defender).
Another defender linked with the Reds is Piero Hincapie. Bild say Leverkusen will only listen to 'immoral' offers for the 21-year-old Ecuadorian. Sounds a bit dirty.
Meanwhile, Ben Jacobs has suggested Hincapie is a potential option for Liverpool, while claiming Tottenham and West Ham have also run the numbers on him.
Legendary midfielder and angry man on Twitter Toni Kroos has called one-time Reds target Gabri Veiga's impending move to Al Ahli (Saudi Arabia) 'embarrassing'.
Tyler Morton could go out on loan with several clubs already making enquiries about the 20-year-old midfielder, says David Lynch.
And finally, the Liverpool have completed deals for 16-year-old academy prospects Trey Nyoni and Amara Nallo from Leicester and West Ham respectively. Welcome aboard, lads!